Out of the Window

Here again, I am glancing outside of the window, just like I always did in the old days. 

The sky is growing darker, and wind blowing among green leaves, which in my memory never turned into other color. The building not far away has been empty for what is like ages.

I feel it's raining. But it's not. The road, down at the bottom flat ground, is dry.

For a moment, there go back to me pieces of fantasies I once had, long long time ago, wrapped in a blurring feeling, like a child's perception of the outside world.

Usually after this moment, there followed a busy night. I would time after time be touched, but always busy enough to let it slip away without a trace.

Now maybe something is lost.

To Hell With The Courts

20世纪初的工人运动中, 1912年在圣地亚哥, 杰克·怀特在一场自由演讲争端中被捕, 入狱6个月. 当被问及他有任何话向法庭说时, 一个速记员写下:

The prosecuting attorney, in his plea to the jury, accused me of saying on a public platform at a public meeting, "To hell with the courts, we know what justice is." He told a great truth when he lied, for if he had searched the innermost recesses of my mind he could have found that thought, never expressed by me before, but which I express now, "To hell with your courts, I know what justice is," for I have sat in your courts room day after day and have seen you, Judge Sloane, and others of your kind, send them to prison because they dared to infringe upon the sacred rights of property. You have become blind and deaf to the rights of man to pursue life and happiness, and you have crushed those rights so that the sacred right of property shall be preserved. Then you tell me to respect the law. I do not. I did violate the law, as I will violate every one of your laws and still come before you and say "To hell with the courts." ...

中文:

那位起诉律师, 在他给陪审团的请诉中, 控诉我在一个公共聚会上演说公共政纲. "去他的法庭, 我们知道什么是正义." 他说谎的时候也说了很多事实, 因为如果他寻遍我大脑最深处的蔽所, 他会发现我未曾表达过, 但今日我会说出来的: "去他的你们的法庭, 我知道什么是正义." 我曾日日坐在你的法庭中, 并且看过你, 斯洛恩法官, 还有其他你这样的人, 把他们送进监狱因为他们胆敢践踏神圣的财产权. 对于人们追求生活和幸福的权利你们变得眼瞎耳聋, 你们粉碎这些权力来保护神圣的财产权, 然后你们要我来尊重法律. 我不会. 我确实违反了法律, 正如我会违反每一条你们的法律然后仍然站到你面前说"去他的法庭."...

我曾想, 最合理的方式是不是最高效的方式. 比如在机场柜台排队办理手续, 是不是每个人都应该按照他办理手续的速度得到相应的惩罚或者奖励. 这个方式自然会加速人们办理手续的速度, 督促慢性子的人手脚迅速一点. 这是不是更合理的方式? 但什么才叫更合理呢? 也许该换个说法, 这是不是这个社会应该采用的方式? 也许这个方式会提高社会的生产效率, 但是必定很多人会反对这个方式. 所以由于众多慢性子人的反对, 这个方式不会被执行. 所以社会, 如果是处于理想的状况下(实在的民主而非某少数阶层统治, 无论他们是不是本着"民主"的名义), 应该是按照最多人同意的方式运行而非最高效率地运行. 其实按极端情况想, 若是按照最高效运行, 那所有人都要戒掉所有休闲娱乐时间来工作. 所以这里要分清两个概念, 社会最高效"运行"并不是最高效"发展". 什么才能算发展? 发展是进步到更合理和优越的状态, 是所有人的利益都能被照顾到的状态, 而非只有某些资产阶级, 某些无产阶级, 某些权贵, 某些精英, 某些急性子的利益被照顾到. 当某些人还生活在社会边缘, 还在为下顿饭而忧愁, 还在忍受肮脏危险的工作环境, 还在遭受性别和肤色的歧视, 还在为了服务"国家利益"(如果那真的是整个国家的利益)而遭受战争摧残, 当他们还继续被这个社会所忽略或忽悠, 咱们敢毫无顾忌地谈"社会正发展"么? 有些人说至少部分人的生活得到了改善. 这么说的, 有几个人是在为政府辩护? 有几个人是在蓄意忽略社会边缘的人? 还有几个人, 是把"社会的发展"和"科技的发展"弄混了? 最终, 这个社会的所有人真比5000年前的人要活得更快乐么?

关于加快机场办理手续的制度假设, 还可以引申一点. 若某个房间有规定, 所有坐坏椅子的人都要赔偿相同的椅子. (并假设椅子是容易坐垮的塑料椅子.) 这个规定公平么? 若是这个房间是某个车站或者机场的唯一休息室呢? 若是这个房间是社会某个会员很得利的组织呢? 若这个房间就是社会, 而它的规定就是法律呢?

In 1912, San Diego, Jack White was arrested in a conflict for free speech, and sentenced six months in prison. He was asked what he had to say with the courts. A stenographer later wrote:

The prosecuting attorney, in his plea to the jury, accused me of saying on a public platform at a public meeting, "To hell with the courts, we know what justice is." He told a great truth when he lied, for if he had searched the innermost recesses of my mind he could have found that thought, never expressed by me before, but which I express now, "To hell with your courts, I know what justice is," for I have sat in your courts room day after day and have seen you, Judge Sloane, and others of your kind, send them to prison because they dared to infringe upon the sacred rights of property. You have become blind and deaf to the rights of man to pursue life and happiness, and you have crushed those rights so that the sacred right of property shall be preserved. Then you tell me to respect the law. I do not. I did violate the law, as I will violate every one of your laws and still come before you and say "To hell with the courts." ...

I used to think whether the most reasonable way is the most efficient way of doing things.  Should we add some rules in airport, saying that every one would get some reward or punishment according to how fast they could do their check-in, thus saving time for others waiting in line? For sure this will increase the speed of check-in, yet is this the better way to do it? But how could we define a “good” way or a “reasonable” way? Or maybe we should say is this the way to be adopted by the society? Maybe it could improve the productivity of the society, yet still, it will encounter enormous resistance from those with a slow habit. Thus it will not be put in effect. So I think, in an ideal circumstances, in which the society is truly democratic instead of controlled by some minority, no matter under the name of “democratic” or not, the society will use rules agreed by most people, not rules the most efficient. Actually, if the society is really operating in its highest efficiency, all people should quit their recreation to work. Thus here we should distinguish between two concepts. “Developing fast” means not “producing fast”. What is developing? It is progressing to a better state of society, where interests of all people can be met, instead of only some capitalists, communists, aristocrats, elites, or those with a fast nature can enjoy the results of development. As long as there are people living on the brink of society, worrying about their next meal, tolerating filthy and perilous working environment, encountering discrimination for their sex or skin color, being tortured by wars for some “national good” (if it is really good for the entire nation), as long as they are still ignored or cheated by the society, how could us still talk about “social development” with ease? Some may argue that at least SOME people have improved their life quality. Among those saying this, how many are defending for the government? How many are deliberately ignoring people from the bottom of society? How many are confusing “social development” with “technology development”? Finally, do all people live a happier life than 5000 years ago?

About the imaginary rules for airport check-in, more may be discussed. If there is a rule in a room saying “all those who break a chair shall compensate a new same one.” (We assume the chairs are plastic and relatively breakable.) Is this rule fair? What if this room is the ONLY rest place in a station or airport? What if the room is an social organization, and its members enjoy major privileges? What if the room is the society, and its rule the law?

Mr. Fama

周一上午完成了Pre-Calc的期末测试, Mr. Fama也检查完我所有笔记和作业. 离开时, 我问是否需要将这个他学期开始时给我们的, 如今夹了我所有资料的活页夹归还, 他手将夹子推还给我, 说: “不用, 我希望它能在你今后的路上帮上你一点.” (“No, no. I hope it can help you a little bit as you go on in your life.”)


其实很可能我以后再也不会翻这个笔记. 这门课并不难, 绝大多数东西我都已学过. 若不是与US Gov’/Econ的课相冲突, 我当初会直接选Calculus.(也是他教.) 在这个课上我都很少有听课, 笔记也甚为简陋. 好在凭着底子, 考试的成绩都不错. 让我时时感慨的是这位老先生的性格与礼仪. 逾80的年龄已颇显憔悴, 但常常他都会神采飞扬地讲述以往经历, 甚或只是简单的笑话, 浮溢仍然年少的热情. 我只听过他在卡瑜加社区学院, 伊利诺伊大学, 密歇根大学, 还有在中国武汉的往事, 然而隐隐, 会感到这都只是他的冰山一角, 然后思索藏于那白发和纹绉之后的究竟是何样的灵魂, 经过了多少历练和打磨, 才最终修得不随时光而消减的对生活的感激和从容. 可在花放群山, 雨打芭蕉中, 年底又到来, 其他学子忙着筹划假期, 而咱们共行的旅途亦到尽头.


我只呆了一年不到, 还未完全相识, 又分道扬镳. 等下次我再能拜访此地, 怕已是物换人非. 尤其面对古稀之年的老先生时, 顿感生命之脆弱与无力. 又想到丹麦女孩阿维回国前, 最后一节环境科学课后Dr. Flowers才确知她第二日登机. 相比我今秋又将回美上大学, 阿维今后的计划都在丹麦, 所以故地重游的可能性更小. Dr. Flowers, 也是一位年迈的女士, 对阿维说: “这一年过得很愉快, 希望咱们有朝一日能再会.” (“This year has been a pleasure. I hope we will meet again some day.”) 似乎好多时候, 说希望再会是知道很可能难以再会.


离别是离别, 可我现在再一次不知生活会将自己引向何方.


On Monday morning, I finished the Pre-Calc final. Mr. Fama also finished checking all my notes and homework. Upon leaving, I asked him if I should return back to him the binder, which he gave us at the beginning of the year and now has all my materials in it. He pushed it back slightly, saying: “No, no. I hope it can help you a little bit as you go on in your life.”


Actually, very unlikely I will ever open the notes again. This class is not hard, and I already knew most of the knowledge. If not for the conflict between U.S. Gov’/Econ and Calculus, I would have chosen Calculus. Sorry to say, in Pre-Calc, I seldom paid full attention and took serious notes, yet with what I have already learned, I luckily got good grades. What really impressed me was Mr. Fama’s personality and courtesy. His appearance tells his age of over 80 years old, but always he would narrate his experience, or just simple jokes, with laugh, joy, and ageless passion from his early days. I have only heard about his adventures in Cayuga Community College, University of Illinois, University of Michigan, and the city of Wuhan in China. However, slightly I felt all these were just a small corner, emerging above the water, of the huge iceberg of his prolonged life experience. Then I would ponder, what kind of soul was hiding behind those white hair and wrinkles, and how many setbacks and difficulties he had encountered, so he could eventually cultivate such appreciation and patience for life, that could not be worn out by time. Yet now, when flowers are blooming in mountains, rain drops hitting leaves, other students busy with summer planning, our shared path is also coming to an end.


I stayed only for less than a year. Not even beginning to know about each other, we are heading for our own roads again. Next time when I visit here, much may have changed. Particularly in our aged gentleman, there could be sensed a sort of fragility about life. Before Anine went back, it was after the last Environmental Science class that Dr. Flowers knew her flight was on the next day. Compared with me coming back for college this fall, Anine’s all plans remained in Denmark, so the possibility for her to travel back is even smaller. Dr. Flowers, another lady beginning to feel the pass of time, said to Anine: “This year has been a pleasure. I hope we will meet again some day.” Yet at that moment I felt, for a lot of times people say “hoping to meet again” because they know it could be difficult.


Yet once again, I have no idea where my life will draft me.

Something About Humbleness

逐渐逐渐经历开始丰富一点, 于是发现世界的千奇百怪, 还有人的千姿百态. 这时犹为想起维果曾引用的主神奥丁的话: 

“那些远行的人是真正的智者，他们踏遍世间道路.
惟有经历天涯海角的流浪，他才能分辨人心的善恶.”


固然我还没有 “踏遍” 世间道路, 但也体察到要亲历一些为人为事, 细细思索斟酌, 然后希望求得对于不同人们处事之态的一点点更多了解. 然后反观自身, 取其善者, 去其劣者. 同时也意识到人们表态的随机性. 一句话, 一篇文章, 甚或一段对话都也许只是人们在特定情况下的反常表现, 而正好被我们撞见. 故从一个片段来形成自己对某人的见解, 不论是赞扬还是贬斥, 大抵可以算作无意识而又无理由的习惯: 我们不自觉地会在交往过程中形成对别人的印象, 但也得充分明白自己的印象可能有差错. 但保持谦逊自知终归是件好事, 在评价他人也是如此, 尤其是在我们还不敢说自己 “完全彻底” 地了解别人之前. 从另一方面来讲, 虽然交往中所得到的只是别人作为一个 “完整的人” 的片段, 自己仍然可以从中反思, 得到一些对人们思维过程和行为习惯的认知, 从而对这个世界又加深一点了解, 然后反省自己的为人处事并进行调整. 对别人对自己的看法方面, 每个见解也可看作是一个调正我们自己的建议, 不论是否明白地表达出来. 他人见解很多是基于他们的经历和认识, 那么自己便努力把站在他人的角度来观察, 期待能对他们表达的观点有更深的理解. 同时自己也渐渐意识到时刻对建议保持有选择性, 即使对方是尤其优秀的人. 自身方面而言, 固然别人总会对自己有各种见解, 不论是公正还是偏激. 也许不断有人夸赞, 抑或贬低排斥我们, 但自己有几斤几两终归只有自己意识得到. 正如前人教导: “总是要反复检验自己内在有多少东西, 总是要自己先肯定自己, 然后悄悄退回去, 继续增加自己对喜好的知识的熟识度.” 懂得的事物, 见识到的人比之前多一点, 于是更加认识到自己受到的教育不够, 自己的缺陷很多. 而也会担心有更多的自己还没意识到的弱点, 然后更加敏感细微地观察自己的行为.


同时警醒一下自己: 而当别人对我们俯就时, 需珍惜机会. 总体而言, 牛圈的人少有对猪圈感兴趣的. 也莫把他人的谦逊作为炫耀的标志, 或自己出色的象征. 自嘲可非自贬身价, 而有可能是讽刺那些更落后的人. 最后蒙蔽在鼓中, 井底的, 很可能还是咱们自己.


Gradually my experience increased, and I learned the more about the variety of the world, as well as the variety in how people treat others and themselves. Deeply I felt what was expressed in the words from Hávamál:


‘He is truly wise who's traveled far and knows the ways of the world. 
He who has traveled can tell what spirit governs the men he meets.'


Obviously I have yet known the ways of the world, but increasingly I realized we need to gain experience personally about others, and then contemplate it, hoping to obtain a little more understanding in how people deal with the world. Then look back at ourselves, and adjust ourselves accordingly. At the same time, we may become aware of the randomness in people's expression of themselves. A single sentence, article, or even conversation might well be an unusual performance of people under certain circumstances, which happen to be encountered by us. Yet no matter positively or negatively, we tend to form opinions, unconsciously, toward others based on what we know - only pieces of others as a person. So we should be aware that our opinions might be not at all justified or unbiased. Keeping humble is always nothing to worry about, so is it when we judge others, especially before we dare to say we know absolutely everything about others. On the other hand, even it is the pieces of others that we could see, we still can ponder over those pieces, and try to comprehend a little more about their way of thinking, thus a little more about the world around us. Then we could use it as a mirror to see and better ourselves. In terms of others’ judgements of ourselves, it might be safe to say that every kind of opinion is a kind of suggestion on how we might be improved. The judgements of others, in many cases, are derived from their own experience and knowledge, which should be taken into consideration by us, if we intend to form a more profound comprehension of their judgements. Also it is crucial to accept suggestions selectively, even when they come from people very mature and outstanding. As for ourselves, it is obvious that around us are all kinds of judgements, either justified or not. There could be people constantly flattering or blaming us, yet only we ourselves understand how much we possess inside, in terms of either knowledge or personal qualities. Just as a precedent student taught me: ‘We shall always check the containment inside ourselves, and always approve ourselves at first, then withdraw back quietly and strengthen our familiarity with the knowledge we love.’ When beginning to learn and see more, I increasingly feel that my education is seriously limited, my shortcomings multiple, and there could be more weaknesses on me that I have not perceived. So I would observe myself with more care.


I should also notice myself: when others are stooping toward us, it is a good opportunity to learn something. Generally, those who are very talented and outstanding have little interest in those slow and ignorant. Do not take others' humility as a sign of arrogance, or a sign that ourselves are better. Somebody joking about their stupidity does not mean we could look down upon them. They might be criticizing alludingly those who are no better than them. Eventually, it could be us who are blind.

胡扯恋爱 Nonsense Discussion About Love

Jamie问我: "Are you looking for a girlfriend?" 我说对的.

然后紫薇同学非常诧异地看着我: "Are you serious?"

我没期待她有这种反应, 也不知道她为啥有这种反应. 不过我还是说, 是啊?!. 其实我也不知道自己在说什么. 这可能是一种惯性. 之前在学校的时候有个墨西哥女生问过我一模一样的问题, 我当时很犹豫地给了个肯定的答案, 想看看此女接下来会说什么. 结果她说她有朋友对我很有兴趣. 我想这好啊, 有人想追我就追我吧. 想必她也不会说那人是谁, 她自己瞎捏造的也有可能. 如今换了Jamie来问, 根据牛顿的惯性定律, 没有外力改变的话我还是会走老路. 所以我很快给了同样的答案.

如果这是个陷阱就糟了...

不过紫薇同学看俺如看怪物的眼光让我又思考了一下我的莽撞回答意味着什么. 我把墨西哥猛女和Jamie的问题翻译成中文后, 突然发现我回答"Yes"是在说自己在寻找. 如同搜索猎物一般地寻找. 而我开始理解他们的问题为"你现在是否下定决心, 至死不渝保持单身???" 言下之意, 是不是女生如果有要追我的就不要往枪口上撞了, 肯定悲剧? 我习惯鼓励别人勇敢地追求梦想...自然不想一句话就直接Pia飞人家. 没想到如今变成我自己跑东跑西搜罗女生了. 难怪Jamie评论到: "你一直坐在你桌子前工作, 真看不出你在looking for a girlfriend..."

我一直觉得时间和精力是要投资在自己身上的, 故未曾涉足追人之事. 况且如今恋爱越来越像打仗一样, 纷繁复杂. A喜欢B, A会告诉B么? 我觉得这个值得研究. A告诉B的话, A不就丧失主动权了嘛. 而B的话, 如果喜欢A, 自可以坐着不动安然享受A奉献殷情. 如果B碰到比A更好的人, 直接忽略掉A. 如果不喜欢, 那么至少可以先摆着, 预防以后一不小心喜欢上. 此设想的Assumption: 咱们认为表白是某种契约或者宣言, 表示俺以后做的事情就是博取阁下欢心的. 而违约是不怎么道德的. 可是现实和理论终究有差别. 现实中表白跟合同差远了. A给B表白后就是不付出行动去追, 或者转而去追C, 那么B有啥办法呢? 顶多心里骂A"空想而非实干家"或者花心大萝卜罢了. 如果B本来就对A没兴趣的话, 那么更不用担心了. B想都不会想A在做什么. 正如某人所云: "如果别人喜欢你, 你做什么都没关系. 如果别人不喜欢你, 你做什么都没用."(此话只是某闲杂人无聊的感慨, 不可当作行动纲领!!!)

更有甚者, 有时B感觉到A的爱慕后, 对A摆出高傲疏远的姿态. 那A应该干啥? 去亲近C来气死B? 如果B对A还有点感情的话兴许有用. (看来如今想对喜欢的人好一点忠诚一点都难.) 如果B对A完全不关心的话, 又回到那句话"别人不喜欢你, 你做啥都没用."

这么复杂纠结的关系也让我一直对恋爱敬而远之. 似乎恋爱=纠结+痛苦. 吃醋更是最惨不忍睹的事情. 敝人甚至怀疑, 如果A要花费那么大力气去追B, 那么B天性里就对A没有好感, B会爱A爱得足够深么?

我很懒. 故我曾梦见过这种事: 我在追一个女生. 她对我太好了. 她告诉我: "今天X时候去XX地方, 我会在那里. 然后你就可以约我和你出去. 然后我就会答应." 我照做. 成功. 这下知道为什么考SAT的时候要用官方指南了吧?

嗯. 胡侃也侃得够多了. 其实我觉得恋爱不需要那么复杂. 双方互相爱慕的话, 直接告诉对方然后在一起就行了嘛. 你高兴我也高兴. 那么纠结做啥.

不过要碰到双方正好互相爱慕的情况不太容易. 如果碰得到那就感谢上苍吧.

Jamie was asking me: "Are you looking for a girlfriend?" I said yes.

Then Ziwei stared at me, astonished: "Are you serious?"

I didn't expect such reaction, nor did I know why she was acting like this. But I still affirmed: "Yes?" Actually I myself didn't know what I was talking about. This might be a kind of inertia. Sometime ago at school there was a Mexican girl asking me exactly the same question. Hesitantly I replied "yes", wondering what she would say next. Then she said she had a friend very interested in me. I thought: "That's good. If someone wants to chase me, then just do it." I didn't think the Mexican girl was going to tell me who the girl was, or she might have make it up by herself. Now the question was proposed by Jamie. According to the Law of Inertia by Newton, if there is no force from outside to alter me, I would still continue on my previous route, so I quickly gave the same answer.

What if it's a trap?

But the curious look of Ziwei, which made me feel she was examining some sort of monster, led me to rethink about my premature answer. After I translated into Chinese the questions offered by the brave Mexican girl and Jamie, I suddenly realized, when I said "yes", it meant I was searching for, or preying on, innocent girls. But originally I interpreted their questions as something like "Have you decided to remain celibate for the rest of your life?", which means if there is some girl who likes me, it's better for her to give up right now as chasing me is inevitably a mission impossible. I am used to encouraging people to pursue their dream...so of course I won't exterminate their aspiration right from the beginning. Yet I didn't expect I would become the one running around searching for games. No wonder Jamie commented: "It's really hard to imagine that you, while working by your desk all the time, are looking for a girlfriend..."

Always insisting that time and energy should be invested in ourselves, I never ventured in the area of chasing people. Also, nowadays relationships become increasingly like warfare, incredibly complicated. If A likes B, would A tell B? It's an interesting question. If A tells B, A has a good chance of losing the driving power of the game. As for B, if s/he likes A, s/he could just sit back and enjoy what A is trying to offer, or if B meet someone more attractive than A, s/he could then simply ignore A completely. If B doesn't really like A, s/he could still store A's adoration in the basement, in case someday s/he might fall in love with A. To support my conjecture, we presume the expression of love as some kind of agreement stating: "All what I am doing is to please you.", and that breaking an agreement is unethical. Yet the reality is always different from theories. An expression of love is nothing like an agreement. If A tells B that s/he loves B, and pays no effort to chase B, or pays an awful lot of energy to chase another person C, what could B do? B might at most blame A as "a dreamer instead of a doer", or "one of those easily distracted morons". If B at the beginning has absolutely no interest in A, then there is nothing to worry about: B will not even pay attention to what A is doing, just as someone said: "If s/he likes you, it doesn't matter what you're doing. If s/he doesn't like you, it makes no difference what you're doing." (WARNING: It was said by someone perfectly out of boredom. Do NOT use this as a guide for your life!!!)

Furthermore, sometimes when B feels the adoration from A, s/he poses arrogance toward A. What should A do then? To please C, making B jealous? It will work if B still retains some interest for A. (So it's an difficult issue today even to show our affection or loyalty to someone.) If B is completely not interested in A, it goes back to the sentence "If s/he likes you, it doesn't matter what you're doing. If s/he doesn't like you, it makes no difference what you're doing."

The complex nature of relationship also discourages me from attempting it. It might be safe to say: LOVE = Intricacy + Infliction. The feeling of jealous is arguably one of the most cruel things. I even suspect, if A has to pay so much effort to chase B, which could indicate that B in her/his nature has no inclination for intimacy with A, will B eventually love A deeply enough even if A has successfully obtained B's affection?

I am very lazy, so I have had dreams like this: I was chasing a girl. She was too nice to me. She told me: "You can find me at XX place at XXX time. Then you can ask me out, and I will agree." I followed the instructions, and succeeded. Now understand why we should use the Official Guide for our preparation for SAT?

OK. Nonsense has been discussed enough. Actually I believe love ought not to be mind-blowingly complicated. If people like each other, they can just tell each other and then be together. What's the point to complicate things?

But cases are rare in which people happen to love each other from the beginning. If we have, we should be grateful.

la La LA.

昨日总算所有申请都弄完了. 下午把一个University of Rochester的朋友送到Rochester机场. 她要飞到遥远的休斯顿去, 就像候鸟迁徙一样. 在机场外, 我仿佛能够闻到阔别已久的旅行的气息. 晚上Jamie和Nick都到不同人家里去搞过夜的晚会, 而Lisa和David很早就上楼睡觉去了. 于是客厅里空荡荡的.

听Lisa说纽约时代广场在新年夜晚总是很热闹. 于是11点58分我第一次在美国打开电视, 看那些熙熙攘攘的人群兴奋地倒数新年来临, 踌躇着什么时候我也可以在那里迎接新的一年. 12点钟声敲响的时候很多人接吻, 焰火如雨. 

2010年来啦!


Yesterday, I finally finished all my college applications. In the afternoon I sent my friend from University of Rochester to the airport in Rochester. She was going to fly to Houston, just like the birds which migrate in every winter. Outside the airport, I could smell the sense of travel, a sensation I almost have forgotten. In the evening, Jamie and Nick went to different parties and were going to sleep over. Lisa and David went upstairs to their room pretty early. So the living room was left empty.


I heard from Lisa that Time Square in New York City is always crowded with celebrating people on new year's eve. So at 11:58 PM I turned on the TV for the first time since I arrived in USA. Looking at those excited throngs counting the seconds toward a new year, I was wondering when I could also welcome my new year at Time Square. At 12:00 PM, there were many couples kissing, with fabulous fireworks flowering like rains behind them.


Here 2010 comes!

So, this is my blog.

Yeah. After these days of some confusions and some thinking, it is the time that I can begin to write something down.

Recently I read my previous blog, which has not been updated since I came to USA. (I wrote something during my days here, yet I did not put them on my blog.) I feel grateful for myself, for all the lines I composed, for all the thoughts I documented. I know deeply how I have treated these articles, hoping that some day in the future, I would be able to read myself back to the afternoons or evenings when I created these works. Writing requires time, and I am glad I did it. Now I will start doing it again.

Writing is thinking. It is a good idea to write about ideas, as the process can make us further think about them and analyze them.

If my words can bring you anything you like, I would be glad.